I think I see the picnic!

[2chiquitos]

Thank you Soul.Searching. I agree. I need to let him take the lead. I tend to be very controlling and impatient which is why I bring up R talk too often.

Thank you RegretfulLA. I have a very difficult time being vulnerable. When I am, I find myself pulling back or suddenly stating my boundaries. It's weird.

Journaling******

S4s surgery is coming up. It's scheduled for Nov. 14. Before D1, I would spend the night with him and H would come and relieve me so I could shower and relax a bit. The roles will be reversed since I will be home with D1 and H will spend the night with S4. I think H is looking forward to taking the lead on S4s care. This is a total change in our dynamic.

S4 will be in the hospital for 2-3 days and come home with a catheter for a week. Previously I had asked H to stay with us that week since I will be tending to 2 very needy kids alone. He had agreed (hesitating) back in Jan.

I haven't brought it up again and I don't want to. I don't want to bring it up and I don't want to encourage him to stay. I want it to be his call. Not mine.

I think that him staying for a week will be too nice and seeing him go at the end of the week will be heartbreaking for the 3 of us.

Now when D1 wakes up in the morning she looks out the window and says, Papa, papa, even though he rarely shows up in the morning anymore.

Any advice as to how to handle this?