First Post #2

[sandi2]

I appreciate your kind words. I’m not that wise. I’ve just lived longer than most of you... and hopefully I’ve learned a little bit along the way. If I can help anyone, then that’s why I’m here. I do try to remember to add when it’s my opinion about something.

A couple of books I’ve seen recommended a lot is [edited by dbmod: reference not recommended nor allowed]. But please keep something in mind after you read these type of books, and don't go to extremes the other way. They are supposed to remind you (I believe) what being a man is like. And to clear up misconceptions of what being a nice guy really means. Marriage shouldn’t change you from being a man!

Being manly does not mean being a jerk! If you behave like a jerk when you’re trying to be more manly…..you’ve won nothing but her contempt. No real woman wants anything to do with a jerk.

I hear younger men talk about the girls today going for the bad boy image. I really think it’s b/c they misinterpret that image. Females were born with natural instincts to search for the stronger male who can protect, provide, and be a good father to her children. I doubt very seriously any mother would want her son to grow up to be a “bad boy” like his father. I’ve never know a girl to marry a bad boy that was happy with him staying a bad boy. After M, she wakes up and realizes that he’s either immature, a jerk, a loser, or just plain bad to the bone. Either way, she doesn’t want him in any of those categories and she sets out trying to make a good person out of him. That usually doesn’t work either.

What I’m saying is that a woman wants a man who knows when to be strong as steel and when to be soft as velvet. Pretty tough order, huh? Well, I would think it’s not easy, b/c females are very complex creatures. But if you can learn “how” to show both characteristics, in time I think you’ll determine “when” to use which one. Just don't go over-board either way. Be true to yourself.