If it were me in your shoes I’d strongly consider telling W exactly what I expected and wanted, (drop OM and work on making a new marriage together) and then if she refused just go cold and wait to see what happens. I don’t think I could handle all the pain you’ve been going through, and I don’t think your present plan is going to end in a lasting relationship built on respect.

M: A really long time.
Crisis: 5 years.
She's still worth it.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl