She wants me to do all these bit and pieces for her, oddjobs etc.
Do I continue to be the obliging husband and keep doing my 180 tactics hoping that she will come around eventually or do I go dark and start cutting her out more?
I want my wife to see the new me, the H that she would be silly to leave. So for me this means still doing stuff for US. If I do nothing for her why on earth would she want me back as H? Because “I taught her a lesson and showed her what she’s missing?” I’m not counting on that plan. If the shoe were on the other foot and she “cut me out” I’d take that as a sign that she gave up on us too, then we’d both be done.
At the same time, going bending over backwards to try to please her will look fake and may leave her losing respect for you. Balance and boundary time here, and you are the only one who can decide what will work best in your situation.
I just see seen your OM confirmation post. Is she aware you know?
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
