I agree with ForeverYoung, there are no silver bullets to magically fix your situation. It is going to take a long time.

It sounds to me like she knows you will be there for her, what worked for me was letting her go and giving her space.

I would try to go more dark, your problem is having kids, you will have to deal with her because of that.

M 42
W 41
S 10
D 7
M 15 Years
T 20 Years
Divorce busted