How about you let her travel her own path without you for a while so that she doesn't feel controlled? So that she can decide for herself what she wants for her life? I'm sorry, but that is the only answer.
^^^I second this notion.
third... so does that make it pass....
Fourth, and I call the question, Mr. Chairman.
Oh, and Arsene: it isn't "intel" when it's the foggy words from a wayward's mouth. That is more like "fogged-out psychobabble" at BEST, and gaslighting DECEIT at worst.
Starsky
Well, I don't suppose I can now disregard such a strong support for this idea. Thanks Denver, AT, CB and Starsky. I know you are right about this. I've been feeling it for some time but now, the last two days have been very painful and I know that it's because I haven't had a chance to detach.
The thing is, I've not initiated that much contact. Most of it was initiated by W and even now, she sent me a text today to ask if I had plans with D8 for tomorrow. Thinking that this was a sign my boundary was being respected I sent a text back to tell her that other than a few things in the morning which could easily be canceled, we had no solid plans.
I expected her to tell me she wanted to spend the day with D8 and that she would pick her up at a certain time but instead, she told me to let her know when we were done with the few things on the agenda and she would join "us guys" for the rest of the day.
It's the thought that if she is with us she isn't with OM that gets me each time. Also the fact that we have a great time together and that it makes D8 very happy. I know it's not healthy right now and I know I really need to follow your advice on this. What Tori says about the message she is sending is also true. She did tell me a few time to "let her be". Then why is she coming around every chance she has, and not just for D8? I don't get it!!! Like Starsky said it's probabaly all wayward psychobabble.
Like Denver said, the first step is for me to make that decision.
Re: Getting a Visa by myself, it used to be possible but they have started enforcing the law and I don't meet all the requirements for a work Visa as a teacher. I've been turned down by my former school because they can no longer get me in. That is why I now work cash in hand for my friend's company while doing a few privates. I am keeping my ears open though as it would be very liberating not to have to rely on W for that.
Thanks you all for your support, AT, Denver's got it right. You've learned a lot and your words are very insightful. Cheers all.
Now I need to get some sleep. I'll write more later.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
