Apparently me politely Telling him how that made me feel and asking if he could plan in advance was me being controlling and he shouldn't have to. How would you have reacted if you X had had that convo with you? How could it be worded to have actually gotten a positive response?

"H, I feel weird bringing this up but it really frustrates me when x happens. I know you don't mean to upset me but that's how I feel. Is there something we might try so that in future i can be kept in the picture?"

^^^^^ that might open a discussion with him leading re how to fix it in future and you recognise he's not doing it on purpose so he doesnt get defensive

also what is the feeling you got when it happened?
Or did you just think that he shouldn't act irresponsibily

Just my thoughts

ME41 H39
T12 M9
Ilybinilwy 10/2010
H moves out 11/2010
H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011
Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012
Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-)
"Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"