Piecing - Round 1

[ericmsant2]

My comments FWIW

And I might as well enjoy it... "petty and sad" or not. And truthfully, there probably isn't one man on this board who wouldn't feel the same if he were telling the truth.

I actually agree with this statement.

I think the “line” if there is one is what Harrier has said, at least to some extent.

Is OM or the demise of OM consuming a person? IMO, that is not good. That said, I do not think it is wrong to “enjoy it” for a bit. For example, say a drunk drive hit your kid, who ends up dying. Would you wish harm on the person? Would you go and find the individual and kill them? Or would you take some solace in knowing that the drunk driver was caught and paid the consequences for their action and therefore is NO longer on the road to kill another person. I would bet that most people would take solace in that the person is behind bars.

I am sure some folks will bash me for making this comparison. I mean really a dead child vs a cheating spouse. Consider this… consider the consequences.. a lost job or life behind bars.

At the end of the day it really amount to perspective.

Personally, I have no desire to be with my XW. None. Do I wish her boyfriend (who just filed for d from his wife) harm? No. If he lost his job because of it (note: he is my XW boss) well to me that is the consequence of his actions. Would I be “happy” that he lost his job. No. I would though feel a sense of “karma” and it would indeed probably put a smile on my face.

My other point is this….using the same example as above.. the drunk driver, hopefully learned his lesson and is now paying the consequences and will no longer do this to someone else. Maybe, Denver’s W’s OM is in the same boat. He hopefully has learned HIS lesson and maybe just maybe…will think twice before putting someone elses M in jeopardy.

Fig,

I have a ton of respect for you..tons.. I just disagree with you on this one.

His “livelihood” is impact but he could also get another job. Add to that, the boss is the one that at the end of the day made the call. Not Denver or Denver’s W.

In short, I agree with Gabbysmom…”he impacted his OWN livelihood”.

I do agree that it is a shame that they both could not have been adults and dealt with it better.

Denver

In terms of the restraining order… I would tread lightly here. When I read your post it seems like a part of you is defending your W….almost justifying her actions a bit. Maybe I am misreading it – it’s my take. Personally, I think you need to find a way to either stay the F out of it and/or make sure your W understand that although you may have been a butt head. SHE and ONLY SHE put herself in this position.

I told her that at some point we may need to think about a restraining order. She again asked me if I thought that she should respond to the email and say "do not contact me or my family again". I told her not this time. Let's see how her boss responds.

Personally, I would not have brought up the restraining order, nor would I have responded the way you did. She needs to figure this out. She should have, IMO, made the choice to do whatever it was she felt she wanted to do. I understand that she is probably looking to adhere to your boundaries. IMO, you could have responded with a “whatever YOU think you need to do – do. I will support YOUR choices and I appreciate you discussing this with me”. This way SHE makes the choice and NOT you.

She reiterated that no matter what she isn't going to resume doing shows with OM.

WHY? If she does not want to be with him then she will not be. If she does not want to talk to him. Then she shouldn’t.

And when he's utterly destroy, where will your anger go next?

I do agree with this ^^^ . Anger sometime is a good thing if used properly. Is your anger consuming you? Only you know Dever..only you know. When you look in the mirror do you think you have a few issues to work through? The answer is for YOU buddy not me. If you do…work on those issue.. find a better outlet and find a way to stay clear of this crap with OM. You will end up feeling better.

But everyone here is going to kiss your butt and tell you what a good guy you are.

I don’t agree with this ^^^^ First, I am not gonna kiss your ass…If I decided to switch teams…maybe (insert smirk)…On a serious note, I think you are still on your journey and have some chit to work through. I do think you are generally a good person. If that means I am kissing your butt…aw… well.

Stay positive and well my friend.

On a final note….please pray for our mutual friend!

God Bless,
Eric