So when she tells my friend that she just wants out, doesn't like anything about me, can't stand me, doesn't love or care about me, won't ever be intimate with me, and will never take me back it's mindreading? Or "don't believe anything they say and less than 50% of what you see"?
She doesn't pay for the car. Amazingly, yesterday when I told her I had no cash for gas she was able to get gas...when I thanked her for getting gas she said, "I borrowed it. Not borrowed since I don't have to pay it back" but I honestly don't know if I heard the end correctly. I didn't ask any questions. I was trying to be that "kind helpful friend" and a "father-figure" (180's) by allowing use of the car to get the kids around in the cold but when she's running around doing fun stuff for herself she can figure out how to fill the gas tank. Part of the trade-off too is that she's using the car to grocery shop for everybody, including me...so I'm trying to find balance.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Anyhow, if you pay for the car and pay for the gas, and she treats you like crap, you do understand that you are enabling her by doing so. Being a friend is one thing, but the fact is that you're not M'd to her so there's no commitment on her part even if you think there is.
IMHO, I get the feeling that she's going to dump you when the next sugar daddy comes along.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
How is it mindreading if she tells my friend those things?
Here's the thing, when I pulled back and didn't provide gas she somehow got some. Also, she was attempting to be respectful talking to me about the car which is part of what I was wanting from her, more communcation in regards to the car and her not dictating to me how the car would be used. So I jumped about it and brought up the "you don't want to be around me." She said it made her feel like I was implying that's she's using me.
Then, she brings up how she did spend time with me and didn't have to. So I guess I should have been watching the actions rather than listening to crap she was saying to my friend. Also, she then repays me by purchasing groceries and cooking dinner and spending time with me.
I haven't ruled that thought out, especially since like you mention we aren't M'd, that she might just be using me until she can get away. That's when I'm being very negative about the situation, that she's just scared of pissing me off and me taking everything away so she plays nice to a certain degree.
When I'm being positive about the situation I try to remember that she's depressed, stressed, possibly hurt and confused (as DB says is often the case at times like this), and still just not sure what she wants to do. That maybe she's just getting angry at herself b/c I'm not acting/reacting the way she perceives me in all these negative ways.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
"she brings up how she did spend time with me and didn't have to."
Gee that sounds so loving. She's temperature checking you. Start to GAL and not keep in contact with her. Go out with your friends. Tell her that you have plans and she's going to have to find another mode of transportation.
Just tell her upfront that you feel like you're being used and you've put up with her bad bahavior long enough. That you know about all of the things she's been saying and doing behind your back while she's taking advantage of you and that while you love the kids very much, she hasn't shown you the respect you deserve.
Of course, that's just what I'd say.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
