I had a good and bad bday yesterday. Great dinner provided by my mum and a nice visit from MIL with presents and cake.
stbx totally ignored the fact that it was my bday.
Unless of course you count the massive tantrum that he threw....
He phoned S14 at school (during lessons) - a real no-no - to say he was picking him up. S14 thought stbx had arranged that with me and so went home with him.
Of course, stbx stopped picking the kids up from school at the beginning of the week - telling me that he would not have contact with them any more until they initiated it and that he did not want to speak to me again. So, of course, i was at school, too, to pick up S14. Luckily, I saw them driving off - otherwise I would have been sitting there longer, wondering what had happened to my son.
When i got home, S14 had been left on the doorstep of our locked house. It was obvious that i was not at home - as the car that i now drive was not in the driveway, but stbx had driven off and left him there.
Apparently, he had been livid with S14.
stbx had given him the third degree about what happened at the concert on Monday night. stbx told S14 that "Mummy did a very bad thing."
My son denied this and said the 'other people' did worse things.
stbx then tried to tell S14 that he wanted to introduce OW to him.
D14 said he did not want to meet her. He said he was happy to see his dad on his own, but did not want her to be there.
stbx told S14 that he could not talk to him like that; that he could not tell him what to do. S14 responded by saying that stbx could not tell him that he had to meet OW. stbx was apparently shaking with rage and just dumped S14 in the driveway and drove off.
The same scenario ensued when he picked up D16 later in the afternoon (again, he arranged this with her and did not inform me). She told him she was not interested in meeting OW and he became angry again.
He told her the situation between him and mummy had nothing to do with OW - that it was not her fault. D16 responded by saying "You've got to be kidding". He drove off in a state of high dudgeon again.
Oh, the drama.
In terms of my response to all of this - I'm getting better. When i first saw stbx driving off with S14 from school pick-up, i was instantly furious. I'd been sitting there waiting for 30 mins and had interrupted my working day to get there, etc. I roared off in my car hoping to catch and confront him. But within seconds, i had myself under control and realised there was nothing to be gained.
I just let it go. Previously, too, I would have been heart-broken to think that my H could have ignored my birthday. I didn't ignore his - last week. I organised a cake and present for the kids to give him because it was the right thing to do - for them. But I had no expectations about reciprocation. Great lesson in doing the right thing without expecting anything in return.
So, I am moving forward with this.
stbx, on the other hand, is writhing with fury and indignation when he can't control what we do. I'm a little afraid of what is going to come next - as he is big on retaliation in these circumstances. I will almost certainly be served D papers next week.
