AnotherStander....you always give such good advice. I'm impressed how thoughtful your replies are to everyone you talk to. You have a gift, I'm glad you're sharing it with the rest of us. :o)
Awww, thank you so much!
Originally Posted By: FierceHope
I'm trying to figure out a way for him to "chase" me, but you're right, I need to be MUCH less available to him!
That's exactly it, if you want him to pursue then you need to distance. Just like when you dated!
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And thank you, AnotherStander! I agree with TJP - you really help.
Now y'all are just making me blush
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And mysterious? HOW do I do that without being rude? I've thought about just leaving the house to spend time with a friend, and not say a word to him. To just LEAVE.
You don't have to leave and not say anything, being mysterious just means not fully disclosing everything. Get dressed up (as hot as possible) and tell him you're going out for a while. If he asks where then say "I'm going out with a friend" and leave it at that. If he keeps pushing then say something like "it's no big deal, are you jealous?" That should shut him up Let him wonder who it is you're meeting and what you're doing.
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I also don't want to set a bad precedent for him to start doing the same, you know?
Well he's already told you he's done and wants a D, what worse can he visit on you? What you need to do is change the dynamics of the R and put YOU in control instead of him. Get out, get a life, be mysterious about it, it puts YOU in control. And what you'll find is the more you GAL, the more you will LIKE having control and the less you will need H! That's the whole point. We all have to get into a position where we don't NEED our spouses. We may still WANT them, but "need" allows them to have control over you whereas "want" doesn't. "Want" is optional.
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Maybe I'll go do something this evening instead of just sitting at home, watching TV... Anyone have any ideas
Join a gym and/ or exercise class. Take a painting class, around here they have places called "Painting with a Twist" which offer a 3 hour session where they walk you through how to paint an acrylic painting, you leave with a finished painting, it's fun! Go to a clay place and paint some greenware. Or take a pottery throwing class. Go to the park and walk or jog. Join a volleyball league. Take up knitting. Sit under a tree and journal. Grab a friend and go to a bar. Or go alone! Get dressed up and go to the museum or an art exhibition. Volunteer at a local shelter. Only two things matter- 1)get out and away from H and 2)have fun!
