Well the last week has been an incredible roller coaster ride. We had what I could only describe as a date going to get pumpkins and had lunch together. She continues to show up at the house twice a week to talk for an hour and go to couples therapy once a week (despite almost quitting that last week). I think she quit her individual therapist. The rest of the time, its little to no contact. I'm certainly not initiating contact... and frequently not responding to her emails until a day or two later and then with just a line or two.
In therapy yesterday she made it very clear that she is "happy" living in her crappy apartment. She seemed completely checked out of our marriage but then emails me last night to ask if she can have the dog for the weekend (I'm leaning toward "no" but don't want to make that a focal point for her either). Then she drops off candy at the house this morning and wants to come over for trick or treat tonight.
I just changed the lock on our front door. I also bought some boxes and garbage bags to start packing up her stuff and will leave them out when she comes by tonight. I'm getting tired of being treated like a toy she can take out of the toybox when it is convenient for her. I feel like she needs to fully understand that if she bails on our marriage, there are consequences (she won't get the dog, she won't get the house, she won't have me as a friend anymore).
I did make a few mistakes earlier this week - telling her I love her, telling her that I don't want to date, etc. Definitely a backslide but trying to stay strong. Did not reply to her request for the dog yet. Just feeling ready to shut it all down right now - no more visits, free access to the house, spending time with the dog, etc.
