If you want to work on our marriage, let's start by talking about what I need from you.
So I've been thinking about this. A lot. No surprise. But what would I say?
I feel like trying to describe to my H what I want in a M is like trying to describe to a psychopathic murderer why life is important.
First and foremost, I want honesty. Without honesty, I can't have trust. Without trust, I don't want a M. H has been lying to me about various things since the beginning of our M. Every time I address it with him, he promises he'll be completely honest going forward. Doesn't happen. Honesty simply isn't important to him. Well, for ME to be honest, yes, but not for him to be honest with me.
I would want a H that would feel compelled to take care of his family because he wanted to and not because he had to.
I would want a H to have some ownership of the budget, and not put me in the position of telling him he can't afford something.
I would want a H that would value me above others, and not sacrifice my feelings or my values in order to please someone else.
I could continue, but how does one explain how to do that to someone that doesn't understand it?
