Idk, I see a recurring theme through your threads regarding H, his external locus of self.
All the "things" he buys that end up not making him happy, the status symbols, his seeing "other couples" that have some "magic happiness" that he doesn't see with your M, etc.
He hasn't figured out that the things, the status, the 5% BF, etc., don't make him happy because he has no true sense of self that is generated from within...he is still looking for outside to fix inside. We are in that boat together with our spouses, my W does the same thing right now, and always has to varying degrees. Sadly, the family and M almost seem like "things" to them and maybe to a lot of society at large, like the motorcycles H bought, etc. He doesn't see those magic happy couples actually have to work at it sometimes, and getting through that "work" is what makes the magic. W doesn't get this fully yet either, but it seems to be working it's way in...maybe the reality of what H is doing now will help this seep in more, and faster. Time will tell I guess.
Just out of curiosity, does H have problems letting go of the past, mistakes, missed things, etc? Did/does he always seconf guess himself, and do a lot of "if only...."? Just curious, trying to wrap my head around all this and understand.
Guess I will have to find some new song to learn and post, like "Baby, pull your head out" or something....lol.
Hang in there!!! T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
