Frankly because I have years of resentment from being left alone- more importantly lonely. I feel used. Discounted. Unworthy. Ugly. Hated. Disrespected. In a nutshell I need to forgive him for all of that. I don't know how at this point. Or even if I can. I've never had closure or even a chance to say that at a time when he could listen and hear. That is part of the problem. Likely I never will get that chance.
