It takes two to tango

the OM was not the only one in the situation

I feel as though he is receiving the blunt of the blame here

I think your wife may have led him to believe that there were things happening in your relationship with her (like that your relationship with her was over) that led him to believe that he had a relationship with her

now his livlihood is affected

if I were him

I have to say

I would be beyond a little pissed too

I understand what you are saying in that your wife needed to not be on any gigs with him
but
to be on the receiving end of having my significant other leave and then losing my livlihood would pretty much suck too

to revel in that is poor form

(it's too bad they both couldn't have been adults and managed to work it out in an adult way without either one having to lose a job over it)