WAW seems to be making positive steps...whattodo?

[Dm45]

Suggestions were already made so I hope you are "hearing us.".

Trying...my guts tell me to DO things, not wait...hard

But here's a book that MIGHT help if she's truly confused...

Yes I believe she is confused. Thanks

Do you actually believe she's in the guest room at OM's house?

I honestly don't know. She seemed to offer this info at a more "tender" moment (relatively) not when I was looking for info. I'm probably being naive.

I guess my best response is to treat her "AS IF" this were true?

consistent change + sufficient TIME = change SHE can believe in

Enlightening

Please stop obsessing about getting HER to see things your way right now, b/c you are the one who needs to hear HER and see things her way, imo.

Believe me I want to. Pretty sure she's not even trusting me enough to tell me her full point of view.

YOU are the one who you can change and you said you NEED to change...why not put your energy there?

All my energy seems to go into my pain. I yearn for contact. I ache to talk to her and be with her...probably seems pathetic. I can not fathom not being in love with her. I haven't showed her she is top of my heart, but she is.

Plus, if you keep challenging her choices when you know there is some validity to them, then you remind her to defend them and that makes them more cemented in her mind. And you prove to her that she is "right" to have left b/c you "still don't get it".

Do you get that?

Think so. One of her 1st statements to me after 2 weeks no contact was "Can't you see I had to leave?" I said "Yes, I can. I don't agree with where you went, but I understand your leaving."

Since then, I have only mentioned her living situation when she has brought it up, or asked why kids won't talk to her. The truth, according to them, is because of where she is living, what she is doing. I have been sugar coating this for her. Should I stop?

I would find it so much easier to wait if she were alone or with friends instead of OM.

Oh, and Don't use the kids as weapons...

They are refusing to respond to her texts, on their own. My oldest S the 1st time she contacted him, explained why. No real attempts since (Texts "Hi, love you, miss you") These are not 4 year olds. How does she expect them to believe those words?

Anyhow, here's the post I think you need to read to get a better handle on how your wife is viewing things...

Wow. Helps, but doesn't, at same time, if you know what I mean.

So right now, I'm trying to wait for her to contact me. (Friday) this is going to be hard. OM has weekend jail sentence...loser. Past 2 Saturdays we met to "talk". If she doesn't contact, do I ask her for the meet?

So so so confused....