Keep breathing...

[mamabird]

Well, I have been giving my H physical affection for about a month now, and it's helped... but getting it back is the problem. The day when I said I needed a hug, I just stood there and hugged him even if he didn't want to participate.

My H can be very stoic, so I can lie on the bed with him for an hour or 2 cuddling and that will be the extent of it. No doubt that he enjoys the affection and the closeness but there are times when I need it back and that's when it gets hard for me. Last night, I came home from work and lay down to take a nap (he was lying down too because he hurt his ankle) and immediately his shirt was off and he was looking for a back rub. I think I am going to have to work on getting some reciprocation from him.

I did ask him to scratch my back the other day, which he did. It was truly itchy. Maybe one of these days all of this will lead to something else. I am not sure how he stands it but maybe his antidepressants are suppressing his urges.

Today is H's birthday. We are going to make him breakfast in bed, then he is going to take the boys to the movies and I am going to make him a cake while they are gone. Casual dinner out with the family. Tomorrow night we might go to a friend's birthday party together.

More updates as they happen. Nothing too exciting going on right now.