So I did the wrong thing and asked him about his contact with the OW. I saw him playing a game on his phone and when I asked him who he was playing with he said a few people. I then asked him to let me see his phone, he refushed. I asked him if he was playing with the OW, he said yes. He didn't think it was a big deal, all they were doing was playing a silly game. I told him he was being disrespectful to me and our marriage vows and I thought he wanted to work on this together.
When he came back home I told him that I didn't want him playing any phone games with her, I wanted him to play with me, when I sent him a request to play one of the games he ignored it. When he came home I asked him to put his wedding ring back on ( I never took mine off) He said ok. Its been two weeks and he has not put it back on, he keeps telling me he forgot, its in his car in the ashtray. I also asked him to block the OW from his facebook page, He says he didn't know how to do that I told him I would show him, he keeps saying "later".
I have been doing the DR and after last week I have not spoken about OW or his wedding ring or anything about our relationship. I have been GAL! Last Friday, I went out with friends to listen to a band play, I sent him a text to see if he wanted to go with me, he never answered. When I called him, he said he never got the text. He told me he was going to help his mom and I should just go out with my friends. I did not have my phone turned to vibrate He called and my son called, my son called about 6 times and was really upset because I was not home at 11:30. WHen I called my husband at 11:45 I got the biggest ass chewing, with the F bomb so many times I could not even tell you what he said.
He was so mad at me for not telling him when I was going to be home. I told him I was sorry and I had made a mistake, I should have told him, it was my mistake. He said that if that was him that did that I would be ready to kill him (true). I again told him I was so sorry I didn't realize it was going to upset him, I told my son I was sorry for making him worry (who by the way was crying and asking me why can't we be a normal family!) After another tongue lashing from husband, I went to bed and he slept on the couch and didn't talk to me for two days. He would not come into the living room and watch tv with me or my son, My son even said to him "dad we don't bite, you can come in here and watch tv".
He finally started to talk again and then last night I saw him playing that stupid phone game with her! I get so mad I asked him before he came home not to do that, and then again after he came home! WHY DID HE COME HOME IF HE WANTS TO KEEP HIS CONTACT GOING WITH THE OW!!!! It was easier to deal with him when he was living at his moms, I did not know what he was doing! He is not keeping his end of the deal up when he came home. Yes I am glad he is home, but I don't know why he won't stop the contact with OW. He had every opportunity before he came home to be with her, Her husband left her three weeks ago over all this, so why didn't they take that opportunity to be together? Why did he come home. I did ask him that and he said the textbook stuff, I missed you and the kids, etc.
I have even considered emailing the OW H and tell him to read DR and DB if he wants to get his wife back. Maybe they would work it out and be happy and she would leave my H alone! I am thinking enough is enough, maybe use the last-resort technique I am just not sure. When he is attentive to me and doesn't have that stupid phone with him, things are pretty good, but in the back of mind I keep thinking that he is thinking about her, which if he is playing phone games with her everyday, then she is constantly on his mind and that is not just a silly game, at least not to me!
He said he was going to work hard on our marriage, he has not done anything since he has been home, nothing. It is like it was before he left. Maybe I am just not as strong as I thought I was, I thought I could do this, but now I am not so sure, when you keep trying to make things better and he continues with OW and not doing anything to show me he wants us to work it hurts.
I know I am just being bitchy right now, but I just don't know what else to do, killing her is not an option, I don't look good in orange (LOL, just kidding) Have to use some type of humor or I would be crying right now.....
M-47, H-46 M24, T29 S19, S17 OW since 2007 Fighting ever since H left 8/12 H home 11/12 still seeing OW
