I heard very similar words, though H didn't get a lawyer involved, he had in his mind what the divorce settlement would be and was not shy about sharing it.
As much as it hurt when he left, there was a sense of peace in that I wasn't being sucked into the drama. Some days I just spent in bed watching junk tv, but managed to keep the kids fed and clothed. But the distance was good, for me to stop the bad thoughts about H and be drawn into the many negative thoughts he loved to share with me---he didn't want to be my husband, didn't love me, etc.
Distance yourself from him. Don't call, write, email, he just is in a place where he doesn't care. Focus the energy on you. Do things that make you feel good about yourself. It seems so small, but it really is a big thing. When you find yourself thinking about him, either in anger (how can he do that to me) or sadness (he is throwing all the good away), use any type of self talk that works with you. I tried to keep reminding myself that my future begins now. I can do what I want. I don't have to worry about pleasing H, only me. It does begin to work.
This afternoon, H told me that he couldn't believe he almost threw this all away and was more in love with me now than he has been in a very long time. I never would have believed these words could have come from my H last Fall. There is hope, but at this point, time and distance between you could just be the thing you both need. Getting Back Together is a terrific book for this stage.
