Here we go again...

[someguy1233]

It was another awkward evening last night. There continues to be a large void between W and I.

She still makes the occasional comment about the future if she were to stay home with S. However, there has yet to be a conversation about our relationship. There hasn’t been a kiss, hug, etc. She seems to have these walls about her. She hasn’t put her ring back on.

I still don’t know if she’s avoiding physical contact because she thinks I’m not welcome to it, or if it’s her own problems she’s dealing with. It was really hard last night… I wanted to give her a hug so badly.

Last night in bed (she is still sleeping in the same bed…) I decided to try to be playful. I touched her feet with my cold toes. She laughed and said it didn't work because hers were cold too as she put her cold toes on my leg. She then left her feet touching mine. Even as she shifted positions she’d bring her feet back to touch mine. I miss her.

I feel like I’m stuck between DB and reconciling. I guess that means we’re not at reconciling yet, huh? Yesterday she helped find daycare for part of the Retrouvaille weekend. Maybe I should take it as a good sign that she’s actively trying to make sure we can go?

She did ask what I wanted to do for my birthday this weekend. We plan to go to a local bar that we used to hang out at years ago.