Kicking a$$ and taking names!

[reachingHigher]

Hey guys! Anyone can ever hijack my thread! We are all in this together.

Gal, so kind of you to post, since you have something major going on. Today was actually a bright day for me.

Dawnmarie, so much pain. I guess that's why we hafta grow. Thank you tons for support. I'll catch up on your thread soon...just a crisis week for me.

Soul-searching: the crying this has baffled me too. My H is a man I didn't see cry for ten years. And now it's almost every time I see him. The pain must be terrible.

Snodderly, I read the "why they run away" thread. It has helped much with compassion for my H.

Caigy, There us something strange about your posting, but I saw your thread the other day and read it; just didn't comment. I'm so, so sorry for the pain. Thank you for posting here on my thread. Thank you for seeing the love I feel for my H.


Weds.:

Ever a confusing world, isn't it?

H came by to watch S13's tennis lesson with me then we went for a drive in his car.

When we got going he put on some nice rock-n-roll music.

Then...the weirdest thing happened. We were at a traffic light and a new song came on. I immediately riveted to it and thought I had heard it but I hadn't. I listened to the words...and it was the VERY song T^2 posted the words to on this very thread! Times Like These!

NOT a coincidence, if you ask me. Here we are flying down the highway listening to this beautiful song, his hand on my leg, I'm playing with his hair. Wow!

So...we go back to the parking lot. He tells me how good I look. He looks at me like a teenager looking at his first love. We cuddle for a while in the car.

We leave the car to pick up S13 and he puts his hand on my back just like a couple in love who has been together a long time.

Did I say anything about this being surreal?

Next day:

I got to see L half hour early, then H comes in. The L had gotten me a bottle of water and offered to get H one. H & I look at each other and say we will just share. L looks at us strangely.

So we negotiate in front of L. Some tears from each. Hold hands. It's all so calm. H gives me half his take-home salary for 5 years till S13 turns 18. We talk visitation, insurance, house, retirement, pension, personal property; I get half of everything. I'm not pressured into selling the house till I want to. H says he won't prevent me from moving outta state if I want to.

H tears up when he mentions his deceased dad and sister, and the burden our time in a fundamentalist church put on our family. Then (in front of L) he asks me to go for drinks and dinner afterwards.

L tells us the story about when he and his W nearly D in 1979. They got almost to the actual D and decided not to. Why did he tell us that?

I'll put together a document stating what H & I decided on and deliver it to L (after H's review) on Monday. Then L draws up documents, we will sign & then 30 days to D.

H held me in the lobby of L's office while they ran the credit card.

We went out to our cars and H says he wished he hadn't driven his Mercedes, worn his Polo shirt and brand new sneakers and Maui Jim sunglasses! Lol!

He came to the house and winterized our pool with S13 and then we went to dinner at a favorite restaurant. We sorta debriefed over the L visit (H & I used to work together).

For some reason we brought up the subject of undignified moments while drinking. He said he had several recently and since we were drinking beer I asked him if he could share any. He had a blank look on his face and said he couldn't think of any.

So I asked him about a nasty bruise/abrasion I had seen on his upper arm when we were ML a couple of months ago. When I pointed it out at that time, he started to cry bitterly.

Well, he said he didn't know how it happened. I said incredulously, "you don't know?!" he said he didn't remember any of that night. I asked about driving home. He said he didn't. Someone had to take him. I just stared at him. I said I guess he must've fallen then. I didn't ask any more questions about the incident although I had plenty.

I asked him, "is your drinking under control?". He said (in an entirely different voice) "of course it's under control."

He admits posting a lot of pics on his FB during his vacation hoping I would look at them. (I had told him I don't look at FB any more very much.)

Then when we left he gave me the "I'll die if I ever have to let you go hug.". Then he texted to see if I got home safely. (I only had one beer but that's a lot for me...lol!)

He also wants to go with us to a natural history museum I'm taking the boys to on Saturday.

I know I may get some 2x4's for not doing everything just right. Go ahead and Bring It On!!! (that may be the title of my next thread!)