A few final notes for this night Shortly after last posts here and for others, I went to the basement / gym, and had a good work out. Came back upstairs to lights off and W gone (up to her room). I fiddle around a little and then sit down to read Pema's Things Fall Apart. I finished it. The last chapter taught me 2 things: 1 - How to properly spell "queasy," more importantly 2 - that that feeling is a good one to become familiar with. To sit with uncertainty and to embrace it for not being right or wrong. To be okay with not naming the feeling. That it us what I had been feeling lately, so I'm good with that.
The other interesting thing is this. While on the last few pages I heard a little noise so u went to check it out, thinking it was S7 awake in the middle if the night. Nope is W coming downstairs. She came straight towards me and out hugged / held me. Totally unexpected and nice. We exchanged a few random words and before she went back upstairs, I kindly and softly said, "you know you confuse me a little right?". W's response, "Don't give up on me yet. I can say that right?". I told her, "You can ask that.". Then she went up and stopped at the top of the stairs and wished me "sweet dreams" back (i said it first). It was a touching moment. I feel genuinely warm inside. This was the woman I married and fell in live with. Tears in her eyes and all, simply beautiful. This is what I'm fighting for. So on that note, I'm going to sleep filled with happiness and I'm going to enjoy while it lasts. Also, a Happiness that I will share with each of you.
