I can't help but feel like this is still the weirdest thing in the world. I'm grateful that my H and I are on pleasant terms now, but I still feel like I'm suddenly cast into this friend zone with him and simply need to adapt to it, or nothing. It's unreal. He's making the effort to speak to me, and I am being receptive and kind, and continuing to be nice and not react, not ask questions about the M or anything related to us. It's funny because sometimes he refers to things that are a month or two from now, like a change to our house or something. Then in other moments I'm speaking to him and I don't see that in love look he had just 2 weeks ago! I know changes take time, and they come slowly. I'm also trying to see things from his perspective. But I'd be lying if I didn't say that this is extremely painful and uncomfortable. It's not like he's out late or anything, and I know it's not supposed to be my business right now what he does. But I can't help but feel like I got replaced - with pot, or his friend he hangs out with, or whatever else he's currently wrapped up in. It's like he unplugged from me and just shut off his feelings. I just don't get the sudden flatlining. He seems kind of down and introspective. I know, don't focus on him! This is the best I can do today, jot it down here, keep DBing and refocus on what I need to do for me.
One more thing: I'm sure others feel and have felt this way too - but I feel so vulnerable next to him. It's like we're having this light conversation and making small talk about this and that (that I'm grateful for, seriously!) but in my mind I'm thinking WTH - is this happening? It's like someone deleted all the romantic memories out of his mind and plopped him back in front of me to have a cordial conversation like nothing happened.
