Still together but trying to save this

[PeteWyo]

I know, I just hope it is not on a one way track out of town.

I was rereading some of DB today and I had to laugh to myself when I read all the AIDS references, LOL! Not to downplay the seriousness of AIDS but I remember when I was younger when DB was written and they were telling everyone that AIDS was communicable through the air and it was going to wipe out the whole population!

[PeteWyo]

So I had the day off today and moved most of the rest of the Ws things into storage. We exchanged some texts about and she ends it with, "Ok thank you, you really are a great man."

SO FRUSTRATING!!!

I'm going to relax this weekend and hang out with friends as much as possible and just find some serenity.

[PeteWyo]

Ok now she text me, "Do you think you'll ever talk to me again?" This is all way too confusing for me so I will defer to the board on this one. I don't think she realizes that she could have me back if she wanted to. How can I respond to that and not seem weak but let her know that this is HER decision!?

[DaddyLongShanks]

Ok now she text me, "Do you think you'll ever talk to me again?" This is all way too confusing for me so I will defer to the board on this one. I don't think she realizes that she could have me back if she wanted to. How can I respond to that and not seem weak but let her know that this is HER decision!?

You don't have to respond. You could GAL, drop that chapter and move on.

[Denver_2010]

Ok now she text me, "Do you think you'll ever talk to me again?" This is all way too confusing for me so I will defer to the board on this one. I don't think she realizes that she could have me back if she wanted to. How can I respond to that and not seem weak but let her know that this is HER decision!?

"I have no idea what the future holds. You have chosen a path for your life that does not include me. I will find my path and it may or may not include any kind of relationship with you. But what happens if we get divorced is not something that I have put much thought into. Talk to you soon. H"

Something like that...

[PeteWyo]

Thanks Denver. This is all so frustrating! I am trying to have patience but it is hard when it is SO easily fixable and all of the supposed "issues" my W had are based on misunderstood situations.

[eyesopen]

Thanks Denver. This is all so frustrating! I am trying to have patience but it is hard when it is SO easily fixable and all of the supposed "issues" my W had are based on misunderstood situations.

I think it is important that you try and view this from your w's perspective. For me doing that was important in really finding forgiveness for her. I believe it is also what jump started the detachment process. It also helped in understanding that this is something she believes she needs to do. So I need to let her without any pressure.

The issues are supposed to you. And the situations are misunderstood to you. Apparently she sees them clearly enough to leave. All those misunderstandings are in the past. The only thing you have now are present situations. Work on those. Use the past for reference and put it away. You can lose yourself in the past if you dwell on it.

[PeteWyo]

eyesopen, its funny I was actually just sitting here telling myself that very thing. It doesn't matter how I feel. It does feel better that I have support from people though. My IC told me something similar, she said that she agrees that none of what we were going through seemed like a reason to divorce but if it's what she wants, sometimes people are just checked out. That is ironically frustrating to me but I do need to do a better job at detaching. Like I said before, most days it isn't a problem for me. Today was just another hard day for me I guess since I was moving more of her things out. Thanks for the reply!

[PeteWyo]

I had something else I wanted to share. I was angry with God earlier this week. I shouldn't have been. I yelled at God and told Him that if I needed to be less worried about money, there were other ways to tell me. He didn't have to take my wife away. I realize that is not the only issue here and either way if God has a plan for me then it doesn't really matter. My IC is a Christian counsellor and she understood why I was angry but told me that God didn't have it out for me and there is a reason for everything. Now I sound like an evangelist! Anyway, I thought I would share that.

[PeteWyo]

Having another tough day. The house somehow is more lonely with all her things gone. It will be a good thing, just not right now. So many memories here, thinking it might be a good idea to sell it.