I don’t want to go on like before – directionless. I’ve given my best for two years of my life; I’ve stood for our marriage, I’ve worked on my selfish behaviours (tho admit I still get insecure) and I love and accept you more now than I did before. I don’t want to divorce but while our marriage is no more than an option, I am not interested in reconciliation. Either we agree to make things right or we organise our separation. Before you went sailing we talked about making things right. I did some thinking when you were away and thought a good place to start our healing was to take responsibility for how we got here and apologise. Whatever happens, I would like to say I take 100% responsibility for the damage I did to our relationship for which I am truly sorry.
I am sorry that I wasn’t always a good wife and partner to you. I am sorry that I criticised you a lot - no doubt made you feel that nothing you did was good enough. I am sorry that I didn’t support you in the way I should have – I was often selfish and didn’t ask what you needed I am sorry that I interpreted all your choices related to me – e.g I know playing xbox games doesn’t mean you don’t love me, it just triggered me I am sorry that I didn’t respect your need for downtime when you came back from working away – I was demanding instead I am sorry that I didn’t understand the demands of your job – that it is different to mine I am sorry that I didn’t appreciate that we are different in the way we handle things I am sorry that I vetoed your spending joint account money I am sorry that I didn’t appreciate all the little things you did for us and our home. I am sorry that I made you feel you were not enough for me. I am sorry that I made it difficult for you to love me. I am sorry that I made you want to leave. I am sorry that I wrecked our marriage.
I guess what I really want to say is that you are all I ever wanted in a husband and that I am so sorry for what has happened to us. I continue to work on my Self to understand this constant need for proof that someone loves me and I am committed to being better person.
