At the moment I have no reason to suspect an affair, but many a person has been fooled into belieiving that to be the case.
Don't spy, pry, etc. There may not be an OP. There wasn't in my case. If there is then you will find out sooner or later (probably sooner).
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My take on it though is this - if she is having an affair what difference does it make to my situation? None really. I can only work on myself and hope that she sees 'me' her husband and father of her children as her best option in the long term.
Exactly! It's like I said in another thread, even if there was a PA it's not like my W and I were virgins when we met, yet we still fell in love. There's no reason we couldn't again.
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In some ways its a very strange feeling because our relationship is probably better in a lot of ways than it has been in a while. If I keep going then I have confidence that we can get through this.
That's great, but don't have any expectations!! I see it happen here time and time again where there are some rays of hope and then the WAS drops the D or S bomb and the LBS is crushed.
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She hasnt mentioned seperation in 4 days now. She also made quick reference to our relationship in a conversation earlier where she only said that 'we were not doing so well right now'. That appears to be progress to me!!!!
I would view that as a baby step, which means yes, it is progress, but just celebrate it internally and keep on DB'ing like nothing happened.
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Im curious to know if this is all fairly typical?
Unfortunately it is typical for things to swing up and then back down again. That's why it's important not to have expectations. Enjoy the high points and don't be too surprised at the low points. That's why detachment is so important, you don't want the crazy swings to affect you too much.
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I am guessing its fairly normal for her to be dismissive at this point? Its like no matter what you do, she almost has some negative spin on it? Im sure she is very sceptical of the 'new me' at this point? Its only been 3 weeks.
Quite right, she doesn't believe it's permanent. She thinks you're just doing parlor tricks to earn her back, and that if she returns you'll just go back to old behavior. And she may be right. That's why it's so important to stick to the 180's and make them a permanent part of you.
