I want my wife to stay married to me - Check She will start contacting me - Check She will start asking me how I'm doing - Nope We will get together for dinner - Check She will start spending time with me - Check
As you can see this is why I go back and forth with the boundaries. I know it will need to be done but as you can see my short term goals have been met. Do I need a little more patience before I set my boundaries? 4 Weeks ago we weren't talking, presently we seem to have contact initiated by her everyday. Too bad the OM is such a strong presence because I would feel much better about all this contact.
Do I show her a little more patience or wait till I know they are together again before I give her the letter?
I don't think that it is necessary for you to rush into anything. You will have to set the boundary EVEN IF she is done with OM. This should be any married person's boundary.
However, if you think that you should continue to monitor the situation as it is now, then hold off on doing anything drastic. The question is, what is your pain threshold? You can continue doing what you are doing now, with OM in the picture, forever if it isn't hurting you and if you think that you're making progress...
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
