I think Im just having a hard time thinking that if I give him all this space, he has all this freedom, he gets to see his kids, and he has OW, why would he ever consider coming back to me. He has it all...everything he wants..why would he even consider me?
The WAS is rarely if ever happy. They may seem happy on the outside, but inside they're confused, in turmoil and likely feeling really guilty about what they're putting their family through.
If the LBS is constantly pressuring them to come home and/ or make a decision about the M, then it validates in their mind their reason for leaving (they see the LBS as controlling and manipulative). But if given time and space, the pressure is removed and they start seeing the LBS differently.
The WAS also views the LBS as the reason for every single problem in their life. They're convinced that if they can leave, their life will be one of unbelievable tranquility, happiness and pleasure. But once they do leave, if the LBS gives them time and space they will come to discover that all those old problems are still there even though the LBS isn't. And eventually they'll figure out that all the demons they assumed were visited upon them by the LBS are actually within THEMSELVES. Then they start to remember the LBS differently, they start remembering there were GOOD times in the M, not just bad. They start to realize the problems they have to fix are internal rather than external. And they start to miss the LBS that they thought they hated.
That's why he would consider coming back to you. There are no guarantees, but time and space give you much higher chances of reconciliation then pressure and deadlines.
