I guess maybe my question is FY, if your wife told you this, what would you do?
I calmly told her, I don't agree with this, but this is your life, your decision. I will be there for the kids.
What you posted above is fine, now just stay on your DB plan and avoid all relationship talks. It's not your job to help her leave if that's not what you want. If she asks about post D logistics I'd just say I'm really not sure right now, I need some time to figure things out. Don't help her finalize things is my point.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl