AT, remember that you have been fired from the husband role. Cards are no longer your responsibility. Let her feel even the small things she will miss forever more from you, and you just forget about it altogether. Not worth you stress or energy anymore.
Thanks Starsky and ShockedOne... I'll certainly need to keep this in mind as her birthday grows closer... it's still a couple weeks away, so for now, it's not on my mind at all...
But trust me, I'm sure I'll need some more motivation to keep from shooting myself in the foot here!
Well, it's been an interesting day thus far! Mostly it has to do with work stuff, and a couple new huge opportunities that have come my way... but they're rather daunting and scary... I'll update more on those if they come to fruition... for now though, I don't want to jinx them!
W's been on my mind a bunch today... but at least it's not just a random "not sure why" kind of day... She's been on my mind a ton because I know she's going to a concert tonight... one which she told me a few months ago would be a tough one for her, as the band's songs remind her of us... it's actually the band which she's sent along two of their songs to me via email, asking me to listen and telling me to pay attention to the lyrics or interpret them as I wish...
So there's a part of me that wants to tweet something rather cryptic, as I know she'd see it... talking about how you never know when something will create a spark or change a direction... but I'm sure it would be rather transparent and perceived as pursuing... I also got an email from my good friend (who's advice on my sitch has been about 99% spot on up until this point) who suggested that I may want to go ahead and at least reach out a little bit on her birthday... as she's still my W, and we're not even legally separated...
Her point was this: If I say or do absolutely nothing, I'll regret it and it will eat at me more than something simple like sending a "Happy Birthday W. Hope you have a great day"... she suggested that I send flowers (something non-romantic) with that note, but I already know how good an idea that will be on these boards!
I think the good news here is this: despite the fact that W is on my mind today, and I'm turning over birthday options a little bit... I'm not getting sad or depressed about it... I'm able to think a little more logically and remove some of the emotion that plagued these decisions for the last few months.
I'm not even sure I need advice on any of these things, because it seems like I know the answers that are coming my way:
No tweet and No need to reach out on her birthday.
Feel free to disagree (or agree of course), but mostly mark this up as a journaling exercise.
We already know it's a non issue but I've never met a women that didn't like flowers. Just out of curiosity, what's that about?
Most women love flowers. With a WAW, it's considered pursuit, because she is not reciprocative of kind acts and guestures. It looks weak to them.
When I had a WAW, flowers and kind acts went completely against the image she was painting of me. Also she felt it gathered her unnecessary attention at work.
In reality she was destroying me, and it didn't make sense that such an evil husband would send her flowers.
