I still don't know how the W can tell our 3 kids, that she is leaving the family.
Don't be so sure she will. Many WAS's never say a word to their kids. They just create a trail of damage and expect others to pick up the pieces. My W and I decided to talk to the kids "together" which ended up being me talking 100% and her sitting like a statue even when I asked her if she wanted to add anything.
Quote:
She told me a few days ago, she was confused about her love for me. Like maybe it was family love not "love" but how can you be with someone for 15 years with 3 boys and confused about love?
Just another variant of ILYBINILWY. Don't try to figure it out. You can't. Neither can she.
Originally Posted By: lostsoul13
My W finallly told her parents about our decision. Of course they don't necessary agree with it, but I am kind of mad that they suggested, I move out and it would be easier for W.
Of course it would be easier on W. But she is the one leaving the M, why in the world would you want to make it any easier for her? DO NOT LEAVE. If you've read other threads on here, you'll see us say over and over again DO NOT LEAVE. You need to hold your ground. The person leaving is going to suffer the hardships of finding another place, moving stuff out of the home, setting up bills, getting used to a new place, etc. etc. This needs to be the WAS. Also the kids will always view the home as "home base", a place of comfort. And regardless of how you explain this to them, they will always view the spouse who left the home as the one that's at fault for breaking up the M. That needs to be the WAS. Remember that your W's parents, friends and other relatives will ALWAYS side with her no matter how dirty her hands are. You should not tell them ANYTHING because it WILL be used against you.
Quote:
However she also proposed to alternate weekends. Which I then replied "no, I will not alternate weekends because I get them M-F and I want the mom to spend as much time as possible with the kids. She says she needs some weekends to get out.
Personally I think it's a bit odd that you only want them during the week. Maybe they're too young to have much homework yet or be involved in scouts, sports, etc. but I can tell you that with S9 and D15 my weekday evenings are 100% occupied with driving them around, feeding them, getting their homework done and getting them to bed. The weekends are the only time we have for fun stuff like going to movies, hanging out at the park, etc. If I were you I'd definitely want some weekends. If you think you can block W from seeing OM by tying up her weekends, well that won't work. She'll just have OM over when the kids are there, which IMO is worse.
Quote:
I have to tell you, even though it seems like things are getting better, I have to keep telling myself "Hope without expectations".
I wouldn't gauge a single evening as indicating that "things are getting better". You need to see a trend over weeks or months before you know if that's the case. Like you said, drop all expectations.
