Is this cake eating? 9

[labug]

NLW, here's an idea that gives you some control. The mind and our thoughts are so powerful and that can be put to good use.

Divorce your H in your mind.

Really. Have a little ceremony and make the break. Then each time you think of him and OW or any of his other antics, immediately switch to, "Oh, not my problem, we're D now."

This won't help with your money situation but it may help your outlook. I would go so far as to write out what the D looks like to you and include child visitation and then work toward getting there.

Share your thoughts on visitation in some written form with him. Maybe you'll get consensus.

And if you get a gentleperson's agreement and he flakes, keep track of that. If the kids refuse to go along with it, keep track of that.

Take some of your power back.

Now just a little nudge and believe me, I get how upsetting this must be for you but expectations about the OW like this:

That, to me was preposterous. And I felt if i let it go without comment, it would be taken as free rein to continue the practice at both my children's schools.

You have no control over this but it has control over you. Work on letting this go because what you resist, persists. This will eat you alive until you can come to terms with it.

Maybe the better thing to say to her would have been: "You're welcome to him, you know he's dead broke and has 2 children to support." JK

Really NLW, walk away from him, he has let your contract as wife expire. That may change at some point but right now be done with him. Move forward with your life.

I'm in this process myself, it's tough but it gets better everyday.