Read up on the grieving cycle. Read up on PTSD. Learn why you are constantly cycling through thoughts.
Start doing some things for your self. Start doing some things with just the children. Could be a simple thing like take them for a walk. Or go to a coffee shop to read.
Exercise.
Pick up a self help book and work yourself through it and do the tasks.
What I am getting at here is that you need to create your own identity again.
If you used to play hockey and stopped. Pick it up again.
Stuff like that.
It is not moving on but it is you creating some space and some time so you can work through your thoughts.
It also creates mystery and it is an opportunity for her to wonder what you doing.
Detach. Does not mean ignore.
Boundaries are for you. Your wife will set her own boundaries.
They are not saved. They are lived.
A boundary you could have would be
I will not be involved with anyone who physically abuses me. So if someone broke this boundary you would remove yourself for the situation and then enforce your boundaries ( such as file a report with the police , remove that person from your life )
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
