Last night, W and I had a really great conversation. We laughed and for a brief few minutes i felt a little passion between us (i felt like a little kid who had a crush). There was tension (even if it was small) but our kids interrupted. But for that 15-20 minutes we couldn't stop talking to each other, she had a great smile. It almost reminded me of our times in college.
We both agreed to go out on a date (drink and late night snack) for later.
I have to tell you, even though it seems like things are getting better, I have to keep telling myself "Hope without expectations".
It was easy detatching myself when she was cold to me, but now with her opening up again its making this harder for me to detatch. Since last night, i can't stop thinking of good thoughts about her. I may be setting myself up for more hurt because I still don't know her true intentions of being the way she was last night.
Is it because, I agreed to let her go (let her move out), told her I will always be there to help her when she leaves, helping her file papers.
Or is because she is slowly coming out of the fog? She is of course still planning on moving out and filing papers.
Or is it because she is having a guilt trip about hurting me and the family?
I wasnt prepared to have her fill my love tank....She may be doing it without noticing it. My love tank was half empty, but now its more than slightly half full.
Right now, I just keep telling myself "Hope without expectations" and continue to follow DB rules but its hard when she is filling my love tank (either purposely or un-purposely).
