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There will be many days in the future when your h will be ill. He will have fevers, feel run down, aches, pains and yes, his stomach is going to give him fits, as well as not being able to sleep. It's all part of the mlc journey. You'll need to sit back and watch the show.

I'm glad his sister questioned him about the ow and her kids coming to the reception. They don't care if this is the right person in their lives right now. They want what they want and they want it right now. They don't care if this person will be the one to remain in their lives or not. It's almost like they want to show off a trophy to everyone and say "hey, see, I may be getting a bit older, but I still have it." He may opt not to take her to the reception since he's been questioned about it. Time will tell on that one. But, if he does show up alone, he'll have some excuse about the ow being busy, etc.

I can understand why you don't like his behavior right now. Most likely this is the way he was as a teenager. You still love the man, but you are going to hate the behavior more and more.

Grab a seat on the curb and watch this show zoom down the road. Popcorn is fresh and plenty on hand for all to share.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Hi Wishing n Hoping,
I'm just catching up on your thread. I noticed you have some info on OW that may not be coming from H. Is his sister telling you this stuff?

It may help you to ask her to stop. Staying clear of gossip will eventually help you feel more serene.

Take care of WnH!


M 42 H 39
T10 (-2yrs separation)
S8 D5
DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA)
Reconciled 6/2013
Separation in works 1/2017
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Thanks Veroprado. I dont think I will feel serene until this thing is over. I don't care what H does with OW as long as my kids are not involved. I find out most of my info on OW from my son because H tells him about it all. Now notice I do not prod S into telling me stuff. Usually I come across it by accident or by S innocently mentioning things to me.

I am taking care of myself pretty well. I have started doing things for myself that make me feel good and hence I am a better mom to my kids and a better co-worker at my office. Even though I am going through a battlefield right now I am happier and more content than I have felt in a long time. It feels scary and amazing all at the same time.


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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You're doing great! You are handling enormous stress and parenting two little kids. Heroic comes to mind.

It's crazy when I think about handling all this--especially since this was always my worst nightmare. But, I'm still standing!


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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I know right. I never thought I would be here but I'm still standing. It hasn't been easy but nothing worthwhile ever is.


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,910
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So another dip on the roller coaster. H went to that wedding reception with OW and their picture is posted all over Facebook by another niece who is also friends with me (or so I thought).

I don't know what bothers me more? The reality of them together and not being ashamed or the fact his niece posted the picture knowing full well I would see it?

I need to dig deep and the best reaction is no reaction but it still ticks me off. I need to dig deep. Hanging on and praying a lot for God to get me through.


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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Posts: 28,360
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wishing,
The niece was most likely posting quite a number of photos out on Facebook and you expect people to take sides in what is going on between you and your h. Don't rule her out as a friend, but you will need to be cautious in what you discuss w/her in the future.

BTW, all of it bothers you right now...let it go. It's just one day in the many ahead.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Thanks Snodderly. I expected such so why does it bother me? It doesn't mean anything about me. It has nothing to do with me. I guess it just floors me that he is choosing her and that he is still married to me and no one seems to regard that as a big deal.

It just shows the level dysfunction present. And I need to keep that at the forefront of my mind.


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,360
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You don't know what he's told his family about his situation. He could have told them that you are legally separated and very close to a divorce. In today's society, there are some who will not question and/or challenge a family member when they do something wrong.

I remember when my xh did something very similiar to what your h did and his family wanted to question him, but felt it was none of their business. I was reminded that blood is thicker than water and no matter what they do, family generally will rally around them, right or wrong.

Please be careful when discussing things w/his family or friends.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Many many people regard it as a big deal.

Some people like your niece are naive or choose to not acknowledge that someones behavior is wrong. Many many other people at that wedding think your H was behaving like a jackass.

Now is the perfect opportunity to show what a classy woman you are and not to react to his awful behavior.

Focus on you and your kids


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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