it is a website that people use to talk about each other and it seems to me to harrass each other...as it let me know my info was in there...but won't give me any info without me paying for it...
I'm not sure if I'm reading you wrong or not...but this happened to me too. I did a little research and found this:
It basically says that this is a scam set up to get people to pay $20.00 to find out what is being said about them...and then when they pay, they are told that the information has been lost.
Thanks..I couldn't take anymore and this was just too much. I am glad you said what you did. You made me feel sooo much better. I am so tired of feeling messed with right now.
I have decided today that I am just going to stop playing into this game...whether people are messing with me or not...they can only do so if I let them, right? The phone calls, the emails, the car in front of my house...all of it can only bother me if I let it. I am letting go and letting God take over again...
talked to H tonight..h was rather snide..but did say he would stop fighting...when I asked him he said sure very sarcastically...but I said ok..even with the tone I will take that as a yes and I will talk to you tomorrow sometime..have a good evening and have a good day tomorrow...now I really need to start to walk the walk and really db again... I can do it. I just have to have faith.
It was working once. I can make it work again. He did even say to send him a grocery list before he leaves work..so that is a good sign.
He is really angry still though. He brought up me accusing him of having ow today...I said he didn't hear me right...which he didn't cause I said when he acts like he doesn't care what is going on at home with me...it makes it hard for me not to believe that he doesn't have an ow...and that she isn't behind this and he doesn't know it..trying to make a point to him that his reactions cause reactions in me..I never said YOU HAVE AN OW...I KNOW IT...but he hung up on me anyway...earlier today...then when we talked later tonight...he brought it up and said he had a hard time not fighting with me when all I do is accuse him...and that I'd just accuse him again tomorrow...
So....tomorrow....no daytime calls...no beeps....no emails...no accusations...just the one evening call to say how was your day and mine was ok...and then good night and I love you.. I can do this....
I have to if I want things to get better...and I do.
Work Goals for me...finish transpo article and chapter for publisher tomorrow.
Remember, just ignore the mystery phone calls and other stuff, unless it is actually threatening you, if it is threatening, then get in touch with the police.
I would really keep absolutely quiet for a few days, no phone calls at all. Wouldn't that be a 180 for you? Wouldn't it make your H notice?? Please, really consider it. It seems that what annoys him most about you at this point is your constant clinging and 'always having something' to go on about. Give him 'NOTHING' for a change!
Meanwhile, get to feeling better about yourself - you are a WRITER , remember? A good mother? A strong woman!
You can do it!
(((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
Have not called or emailed or beeped him and it it s 2pm here. Don't know if I can go dark ....but it is a 180 simply not to call him at all during the day and to not have anything to fight with him about...and to not let him push my buttons to get me to fight with him....so I will probably not be able to keep myself from talking to him tonight...but that is progress...and if I can keep from fighting with him no matter how crappy his attitude is...that is progress too...so, we'll play it by ear...maybe by tonight I won't feel like I have to talk to him...who knows? We'll see. All I can do is try to do my best to not beep and call and email all day...which I have been successful at so far today. hugs....akgal
I think you could really try to avoid ringing him tonight. If you have been in touch every night, what do you think he will imagine if he doesn't hear from you at all? Do you think he might get curious? He certainly won't have a lever to 'fight' with you.
Can you fix yourself up to go out in the evening(s)?
I don't understand about your S. Does your H not keep in touch with him? Does he (S) live with you?
Your H is coming come on the 27th of the month? That's only four more days. You could just try lying low for those days and see what difference it makes when your H turns up.
Remember, quit doing more of what isn't working!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
You are doing well. Keep listening to all the advise others are giving you. They are right on the money. Just do your 180 and don't call or e-m...go a little grey...
Cycler, Livnlearn, Ogda, and everyone else who has been posting...THANKS SO MUCH...
I am trying to work on the following goals which I shared with my husband... I will put an end to the conflict between H and I ... I will trust and believe him.
I will not call or beep before 7pm...if I need to contact him I will email...during the day. I will show respect for his job and for him.
I will work on learning to pay the bills with him...I will respect our family finances.
I will get try to get a job..any job...outside the home.
I will become less needy and more independent.
I will find the email I sent him and post it here...it was basically the above ...but it got good results.. now I have to stick to it...and prove myself. back in a bit.
You were right and I was wrong. I am sorry. I love you. You were trying to be fair and I took it the wrong way.
I have set some goals that I think will help us to get along better. They are goals for me. If you call me today, I will start working on these goals.
1. I will not have conflict with you... I will trust and believe you. 2. I will only call you after 7. I will respect you and your job. If I need to contact you ...I will email, not beep or call before 7 unless it is a true emergency. 3. I will work on learning about paying the bills with you. I will respect our finances. I would like to get a checking account and start helping to pay the bills with the money that you give me and the money that I earn from writing and.... 4. I will try to get a job...any kind of job. No matter what it pays....I need to go to work even if it is part time. I need to show you that I am willing to help out financially and that I can get out of the house and work. 5. I will be less needy and more independent. I will be more attractive to you.
I hope that these goals are things that you think will help. I think they will. In the long run, even if you want to leave me, they will help both of us. Give us a little more time....please Paul. I can not take the thought of losing our marriage. I am a mess. I need the fighting to end, too. I need you to try to be nice to me. Just one day at a time..starting today. Please. Just try it...try something different...nothing else has worked in the last month...maybe this will....it's a marriage counseling technique....when all else is not working ...try something different.
Well..it would be different for both of us to just be nice to each other one day at a time. I love you. Try telling me you love me.
Wow. We talked about going shopping together, going to a movie, The Return of the King, and going ice fishing...we talked about the boxing match he watched...and then... At the end, I told him I loved him and asked can you tell me you love me? He said I love you, too. Good night.
