Thanks..I couldn't take anymore and this was just too much. I am glad you said what you did. You made me feel sooo much better. I am so tired of feeling messed with right now.
I have decided today that I am just going to stop playing into this game...whether people are messing with me or not...they can only do so if I let them, right? The phone calls, the emails, the car in front of my house...all of it can only bother me if I let it. I am letting go and letting God take over again...
talked to H tonight..h was rather snide..but did say he would stop fighting...when I asked him he said sure very sarcastically...but I said ok..even with the tone I will take that as a yes and I will talk to you tomorrow sometime..have a good evening and have a good day tomorrow...now I really need to start to walk the walk and really db again... I can do it. I just have to have faith.
It was working once. I can make it work again. He did even say to send him a grocery list before he leaves work..so that is a good sign.
He is really angry still though. He brought up me accusing him of having ow today...I said he didn't hear me right...which he didn't cause I said when he acts like he doesn't care what is going on at home with me...it makes it hard for me not to believe that he doesn't have an ow...and that she isn't behind this and he doesn't know it..trying to make a point to him that his reactions cause reactions in me..I never said YOU HAVE AN OW...I KNOW IT...but he hung up on me anyway...earlier today...then when we talked later tonight...he brought it up and said he had a hard time not fighting with me when all I do is accuse him...and that I'd just accuse him again tomorrow...
So....tomorrow....no daytime calls...no beeps....no emails...no accusations...just the one evening call to say how was your day and mine was ok...and then good night and I love you.. I can do this....
I have to if I want things to get better...and I do.
Work Goals for me...finish transpo article and chapter for publisher tomorrow.
