I used to try to explain what I was doing, but since have stopped. I do tune them out. It is a shame that so many people look at marriages as disposable.
The last post didn't work out how I wanted it to. I added this line^^^^ but it came out looking like it was from veroprado.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
I am going to get a hair cut tonight and I noticed my sons hair is pretty shaggy. Son mentioned that my w wanted him to let it grow. I called her to see if that was true and suggested I just have them trim it. Her response was if he wanted it cut then he should get what he wanted. She said something about it is something that he can control. It struck me as kind of odd.
I think a big part of this for her is not feeling like she is in control. How do I show/help her understand that she is in control of herself? I am really at a loss on this.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
I may have posed this question before, but I am wondering if some of the anger and resentment we see from our WAS is due to the fact that we are trying to change our behaivors? And they are mad because they finally got through to us, when they think it is too late?
Or as Sandi2 said, when her husband was happy, she would have to give him a reminder that she wasn't?
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
Just received this text, I appreciate your kindness and thoughtfulness. I can not however pretend when the kids aren't around that are arrangement on paper is fair. I am going to start looking for a day job. I have to be able to support the kids somehow and trying to provide for them on my income and what you are willing to help with is not possible. We will then have to pay for day care.
What I am willing to pay is what the child support calculator suggested. Plus I am willing to continue to make the car payment on the car that she drives.
Any suggestions to a appropriate response is appreciated.
Also shortly after the text she sent a picture of my sons school photos.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
I should also mention that if w does find a day job it will not affect the time I get with my children. She would be giving up more time with them. I think this is where the tough love comes in to play. It is now on her to make the choices for her own life.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
Well since I didn't get any responses to my question about the text, I decided to not respond. I am very glad that I didn't.
First of all, she did not ask a question, secondly I think it is a 180 for me not to respond. Normlly I would probably offer some type of opinion or solution. It feels really good to let it go.
I have enough on my plate, so I don't need to worry about how she is going to make it. I will always provide her with help and support as far as the kids are concerned, but otherwise she is on her own.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
Took me long enough. I think it comes with time, realizing my value is not defined by my wife. It is all part of detachment.
Also read another great post by Sandi2 about trying to be friends. I keep asking myself why would I want her as my friend right now. I know I control myself and myself only. Although I do think as far as my r with, I need to follow her lead right now. If she is engaging then I engage. If she is distant, then it is simply a hey thanks for dropping the kids off, good bye. Pretty much what everyone has said since I started reading this forum.
I think we as LBS are in as much off a fog as the WAS are. It is almost a race to see who can come out of it first.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
