I realized something about myself. I'm either not as far along as I thought or I took a step back.
Sometimes we need to take a few steps back before we start heading forward once again. No worries, it happens.
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She told him again that she wants to be my friend. I don't get this. Why??????????
Most likely to alleviate guilt, IMO. Given what you've been through so far, would it be safe to say that whatever the reason is, her needs would be first and foremost?
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She told him that it is normal for people in our situation to be friends. I'm sorry but I probably know about 20 divorced couples and only two of them are "friendly." Not "friends" but "friendly."
Haha! She said, "normal"!! I'm kidding, sort of...
Trust yourself, trust in what you see. For what it's worth, you can add me to the "friendly" catagory. I'm sure it happens, but "friendly" is probably the most likely scenario.
Let's say it does happen, would this be a healthy friendship for you? Would it be a positive in your life? What do you look for in a good friend?
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I guess the question isn't "can I be her friend" but "do I want my marriage restored." I just don't understand the "friends" thing with the MLCer.
The above sounds like this friendship would have strings or conditions in a way. Also sounds like going from 0-100 in an instant.
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I'm just at a loss right now. Not only do I have to decide if I want to be her friend, but I need to make a decision before she gets married next Summer. I feel like I am wearing a watch that says:
08 Months 00 Days 00 Hours 00 Minutes 00 Seconds
It is like a bomb just waiting for all of the columns to go to 00. It's ticking and there is no stopping it. Every day it gets closer and closer.
Tad, this sounds so grim, so absolute. Remember your thoughts and perspective will always lead the way. Don't know about you, but this road seems like a bumpy one that ends with a cliff. Who's driving?? You or Mr. Fear? Plenty of other roads out there, ya know? I may be missing something, haven't been here in ages but who says you have to make a decision on this right now?
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Sorry for rambling. I'm just trying to be honest with my feelings. I like to write this stuff down. It helps in a way.
No need to be sorry. Keep doing what helps\works.
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Looks like I have much more thinking to do.
I beg to differ buddy. I think you're putting way too much thought into all of this. "THE right answer to this crazy mess doesn't exist."
How about just focusing on being your best. You can't go wrong with that. Ever. Live your life and trust that everything will fall into it's own perfect place.
True friendships grow naturally. There are no questions of how, why or should I. Strings do not exist. There is no need to plot or plan or figure them out.... They just happen.
Keep it simple. Keep living your life and if\when your paths cross be friendly. No less, no more.
