Stop this crazy train I want to get off!!!

[wishing, hoping]

Thanks again Snodderly. H used to complain Joe his stomach was upset and he couldn't eat. In fact a few nights ago I was giving D a bath and he came barging into the bathroom scrambling through the drawers. I asked if he was looking for something and he said he needed the thermometer. I gave it to him and asked are you not feeling well? And of course he felt feverish and sick tomhis stomach and light headed. He took his temp and it was normal. I asked if he wanted any medicine. Oh no...he says. I'll muster through the whole time taking his temp over and over trying to see if it was going up higher.

H's nephew is having a wedding reception this weekend and Joe called his sister to see if he could bring OW and "the kids". To which his sister said I thought you were court ordered to keep your kids away from your girlfriend? H says oh I meant "her kids" not my kids. I guess his sister gave him an earful about how can he put his girlfriend and her kids in front of his own? H's excuse was oh the kids are busy this weekend. His sister asked why he couldn't just bring the kids without the girlfriend? He changed the subject.

I really do not like this guy and if H would have been like this when we were dating I would never have married him. His sister asked why he would want to shove this woman on the family not knowing if this was even gonna work out? H's response? It is going to last and it will work out. I guess he needs to say that to save face or otherwise he looks like he is making a mistake. But I do have to admit that stings a bit. I am working though it. It's not real. I need to keep reminding myself.

I just don't know what was ever real now. I look back and wonder what was reality and what was a show? I guess it's futile to concentrate on the past but I cannot help but wonder sometimes.