I Cheated. She's Pissed!

[focusing-on-me]

25yearsmic... To start, I have say THANK YOU THANK YOU for truly taking the time to take the time and impart such an incredible amount of soul searching question / comments for me to ponder. My god, thank you. That is why i love this website. You, like so many others here, are not about judging or being snotty. You are SOLUTIONS based! IOW, what is the solution to my behavior. Trust me, I have read and reread your post, SLOWLY, as I believe there is such power in the very core of what you are trying to get me (and others in my sitch) to pay attention to. And BTW, everything you have said / asked about my affair, my W too has asked..
"Reasons" to cheat is totally irrelevant! My W does not care "why" I cheated. She wants to KNOW that I will never cheat again! And that will only come with time and my consistent behavior (transparency, communication, affirmation, etc.).
You asked if we both understood the "one child" thing. Yes, we did. Now she is very resentful towards me for that. I cheated on her AFTER she told me that she wanted a second child. She pulled away from me emotionally. This is NO reason to cheat! I get that. I get that we r at diff places n our lives. She wants to move to CA and start over. She told me that since I had kids in my prev M, and experienced numerous holidays w/ them, that she is entitled to have all holidays w/ our son. I can not / will not agree to this. She said, "Well, you should not have cheated on me." To which I apologized to her again about it, bit very respectfully told her that my son deserved to have his dad every other holiday. I am very conflicted about this.
Anyway, I digress. The bottom line for me is to make BETTER decisions in when faced w/ temptations. It's NOT worth it, ever, to cheat. I do not need to try to figure out "why" I cheat (which are BS excuses). I need to decide, and it is a decision, if I want to continue ruining lives by making a decision to cheat! Any partner deserves to KNOW that their spouse will never step out on the relationship, no matter the situation, temptation, or what is going on at home!