I do need to 'ride out' my emotions. I've never practised that before - just reacted, usually in anger and outrage over what i see as 'gross injustices', 'unfairness' and 'wrongness'.
I definitely need to work on this.
Also on being 'kind to myself'. Never thought about this. I just think about being hard on myself in order to get on and do more. Often used being hard on myself as a justification for being hard on others - especially those i love. I have a big thing about laziness and not trying your best. I bust my gut and do everything to the 'best' of my ability; so should everyone else close to me.
Oh dear....
Good reminder, Michelle, not to ask stbx for ANYTHING. Just seems so weird.
At the moment I can't work out what fuel to buy for the lawnmower. It's a 4-stroke and Google told me I need to buy 4-stroke oil to mix with petrol, but the garage guys said they don't have any and no-one buys it???? Oh, well, grass is now 2-foot high on front lawn, I'll work it out eventually. My dad would have told me if he wasn't so befuddled with old age; lawns were always his big thing!
MKB, I feel like you nailed my perspective on the OW thing. Someone needed to show her what she did to real people. Here is the family - the woman and two kids - that you broke up. These are the lives that you ruined with your selfishness and predatory behaviour. We are not going to go away.
Re the child support - we are currently in mediation and I assume this will come up. I have been trying to get stbx to deal with this through lawyers but he simply will not provide financial details. The view seems to be that i will have to spend big dollars to take him to court and subpoena him. Before going down this route (for which I have 0 finance), it was worth checking out whether a mediator could convince him that he had to reveal his financial situation and records.
Thanks again for your responses, this - and the old one-foot-in-front-of-the-other - is what's keeping me going.
I have gone NC on stbx (and he on me, for that matter) since Monday and I feel so much better! This is the longest we have been without contact (not counting his holidays) since this started 14 months ago.
My birthday is tomorrow so I now have no expectation that he will acknowledge it. At this point, I don't think I care, but we'll see how I feel tomorrow!
