I had to fight some very bad thoughts b/c I figured it shouldn't have taken her that long to get home, I'm worried maybe she's seeing another guy or something.
Quote:
Is she lying to me again?
Quote:
Is she going to the bar with her friends or out with some guy?
DB'ing is all about changing your focus. You are still 100% focused on GF and 0% focused on you. DB 101- QUIT FOCUSING ON HER! What are you doing for YOU??? Have you detached at all? How? Have you gotten a life? Sounds like you haven't! You say you're doing 180's, that's great. But you really need to detach and GAL too. It all works together, you can't do one without the others and then be surprised that it's not working.
Thought Trick-or-Treat was rescheduled here but then this text convo begins...
Her: Tonight is trick or treat where I take the kids Her: It starts at 6 Her: Do u know anyone that can give you a ride home so they wont be late?
Me: No Me: You could pick me up, I'll ride out with you and drop you guys off, then pick you up when you're ready.
Her: Ok then they will be late. Did know if (friend) could Her: I could drop you off and go then you don't have to come back out that make no sense to run that much
Me: It's further to go from the store to the house back to (other town a few miles away) than straight from the store to (other town). Plus they'll be even later with that back and forth. I don't mind riding out and picking you guys up later.
Her: I just don't want to have to wait when they are ready its really not a big deal running
Me: So you're going to drop the kids off, let them start without you, drive all the way back in to take me home and then head back out?
Her: No come get you drop you off and head out being a little late won't hurt
Me: We will be less late if we go straight from the store out there Me: You guys will be less late. You'll be later taking me home first.
Her: Its fine this way they have candy already
Me: Sorry, this isn't making any sense. Try calling her and she won't pick up.
Her: They never go the whole time anyways they don't need 2 hours to get candy Her: To you
Me: So what was the big deal about not wanting to be late?
Her: I think (another family member) is going to so won't be enough room
Me: Well you said you don't want to be late.
Her: Its fine
Me: Whatever Me: I don't appreciate you telling me the issue is about being late when that's not the real reason.
Her: I'm sorry I thought about it and forgot (another family member) is going to. I'm sorry. After I said it I thought about it and its not a big deal. I was over reacting. I'm really sorry.
I haven't texted her back.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
I understand not needing to spend a little money but up in the NE it's getting cold so it's hard to find outdoor free stuff to do. Time is my bigger issue, just getting anything domestic (like laundry, dishes, cleaning) done is done on my little bit of time off around getting some sleep.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
GALing is near impossible right now. I work weird hours 60+ hours a week. No extra money due to the financial situation.
Spend 15 minutes before or after work walking, biking, doing crossword puzzles, watercoloring, sketching, doing yoga, chatting with a neighbor. Spend your lunch break with an old friend or taking a stroll or making paper airplanes and flying them around the workplace. For crying out loud man, quit making excuses and GAL!!!
Yeah, I've been just trying to enjoy watching TV/movies at home and reading. Don't get a lunch break at work but you're right, need to start just either focusing on work and/or doing something enjoyable when the store is slow rather than dwelling on this stuff.
Here's what just happened via text though...
Her: (Another family member) isn't going now so if you want to take us that is fine.
Me: Sorry to hear (another family member) isn't going now. Sounds good to me, figure it's less back and forth for you.
Her: Yeah ok
Me: I was also thinking about next weekend since you have plans with the bday party and (brother) is watching (baby) I'd like the SUV so I can get out for awhile. I can drop you off and pick you up from the party unless you want to see if somebody going to the party can give you a ride. Just didn't want to wait to the last minute to figure things out.
Her: Well I don't want you taking me so ill figure out something.
Me: I'm sorry you feel that way about me taking you.
Her: I'm not gonna feel like a little kid going to a party
Me: It sounds like you're getting upset thinking I'm treating you like my kid, is that right?
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
She calls me really pissed b/c when I was cleaning I moved the trick-or-treat bags (of course, I didn't know what they were since she hasn't been communicating with me) and when I tell her where they are she goes, "...f**king great!" and hangs up on me.
After a couple of mins the texts start back in response to my question about her feeling like a kid...
Her: Yep sorry bad day keeps getting worse
Me: I'm sorry you feel like I'm treating you like a kid and I'm sorry you're having a bad day. I just wanted to talk to you about plans as adults so we could figure out the vehicle. I wanted to be helpful and offer a ride to the party if you need it, nothing else. Me: Did you find the bags? I'm sorry they got moved like that.
Her: Yeah I found them
Me: That's good, I'm glad you found them quickly.
Her: Yep
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
STOP apologizing! Sounds like she was over-reacting and blamed you. You don't have say sorry because SHE didn't communicate well. Makes you sound like a wuss.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I wasn't apologizing for doing anything wrong. I didn't apologize for her picking me up today or that I'll have MY SUV next Sat. I said I am sorry for the way she FEELS, not apologizing for anything. I'm validating her feelings without agreeing or disagreeing.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
