Just wondering what the general concensus is on dating during a seperation and possible divorce. I not thinking about it from a jealousy standpoint, more from a thinking about a future without w. And also from a primal urge standpoint. Part of me thinks that until there is a divorce I am married. The other part says she has made her intentions clear.
Not that I would be looking for anything serious. More to get out and do something other than climbing. Maybe I should just work on my flirting and social skills. They are pretty rusty.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
Just wondering what the general concensus is on dating during a seperation and possible divorce. I not thinking about it from a jealousy standpoint, more from a thinking about a future without w. And also from a primal urge standpoint. Part of me thinks that until there is a divorce I am married. The other part says she has made her intentions clear.
Not that I would be looking for anything serious. More to get out and do something other than climbing. Maybe I should just work on my flirting and social skills. They are pretty rusty.
If your partner is out there screwing around, and you are left being an emotional tampon or punching bag. Literally a cuckhold against your will.
Then you have to consider whether its OK to take on a lightweight relationship which she's on her detour. It goes against the standard DB principles.
But the funny thing is once you have done the act with the new one, you really will see how easy and normal it is to have a relationship with someone and you will detach from the garbage the WAW is feeding you. It helps you to see clearly.
I can go without the sex. I think the primal urge is maybe driving the detachment. Either way it is another test of patience.
The other part is that on the nights I don't have my children it can be lonely in the house. And yes I am out doing things on those nights. It is more of a something is missing feeling when they are not in their beds.
I also know that I need to be happy on my own no matter what the sitch is. I will get there. I used to be great on my own.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
Don't date til YOU have decided that you no longer want to pursue DB. In the meantime find other ways to fill that emotional void that don't involve someone of the opposite sex.
Don't fall into the love addiction.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
Don't date til YOU have decided that you no longer want to pursue DB. In the meantime find other ways to fill that emotional void that don't involve someone of the opposite sex.
Don't fall into the love addiction.
You are right, especially since it seems pretty obvious that my w has not completely come to terms with her decision. Would not want to push her further away. I know that is my perception, and perceptions can be dangerous, but I will go with this one.
I have friends that went through this that say don't waste your time waiting and hoping. The thing is, they are still the same as they were before their split. I like this path of personal growth. Turning something that was absolutely terrible at first into to something great.
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
Don't date til YOU have decided that you no longer want to pursue DB. In the meantime find other ways to fill that emotional void that don't involve someone of the opposite sex.
Don't fall into the love addiction.
You are right, especially since it seems pretty obvious that my w has not completely come to terms with her decision. Would not want to push her further away. I know that is my perception, and perceptions can be dangerous, but I will go with this one.
I have friends that went through this that say don't waste your time waiting and hoping. The thing is, they are still the same as they were before their split. I like this path of personal growth. Turning something that was absolutely terrible at first into to something great.
Yessir! Waiting and hoping for any friend to start doing you right is stupid.
When your friends tell you the opposite of DB, then tune them out or ask them to refrain from these talks. It can be so discouraging.
I have absolutely no one, except all you, that support my efforts. Everyone, EVERYONE! has given me their 2cents. But this is my fault because in the beginning I would ask EVERYONE for their advice. So they continued giving me advice even when I didn't ask for it.
Now I don't discuss any of my sitch with them and if they do I say, ok gotta go. and hang up or walk away. This has isolated me but I have a lot more serenity.
Also, about the dating. How would you like it if your W was dating while she was trying to fight for your M? Sounds weird don't you think?
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
When your friends tell you the opposite of DB, then tune them out or ask them to refrain from these talks. It can be so discouraging.
I used to try to explain what I was doing, but since have stopped. I do tune them out. It is a shame that so many people look at marriages as disposable.
I have absolutely no one, except all you, that support my efforts. Everyone, EVERYONE! has given me their 2cents. But this is my fault because in the beginning I would ask EVERYONE for their advice. So they continued giving me advice even when I didn't ask for it.
Now I don't discuss any of my sitch with them and if they do I say, ok gotta go. and hang up or walk away. This has isolated me but I have a lot more serenity.
Also, about the dating. How would you like it if your W was dating while she was trying to fight for your M? Sounds weird don't you think?
Point well taken!^^^^^
Me 37/W 32 S 5 D 4 ILYBNILWY 5/12 Sep 8/12 Starting to find myself 11/12 on
