Still together but trying to save this

[PeteWyo]

It is like you have overheard my conversations with my W for the last 4 months. That is uncanny. I can certainly empathize with you on this one. I got so sick of her telling me that she "has been trying." It was all I could do to not scream in frustration. You can't "try" to change your feelings on your own without telling me about it. She wasn't "trying" to fix anything, she was trying to feel differently all on her own without discussing her feelings with me. In the end she kept telling me that she had been trying. I called BS on that. She hadn't been trying, she had been trying to want to try. And she was trying to want to try by waiting around and hoping her feelings would change on their own. I had to beg my W to go to MC. She only went when she said, "If we go and they tell us that we can't save this, will you let me go then?" Of course my response was, "Well what if they tell us we can save it?" Her response was, "Well then we will talk about that then." So we went to the MC 2 times. At the end, the MC looked at me and then looked at her kind of confused and said, "(husband) this is not something for you to hold over your wife's head but (wife) this all sounds like very fixable stuff. There are some communication issues but I have dealt with so much worse than this and you guys can very easily have your fairy tale marriage. You just have to want to try." I thought this was a great thing. A day or two later, I approached her and said, "I know the MC said I couldn't hold this over your head, but I think we should talk about it, can we try and fix this?" My W looked at me genuinely confused and said, "What? She said we would have to want to try?? She was genuinely confused as to why I thought the MC said we could save it. So frustrating!! Talk about selective hearing!

Ok I'm done venting. It's good to share that experience with someone who would understand. Stay strong as well AS. I will have to read more on your situation and see if I can return the favor and provide some helpful feedback.