Today she again seeks contact, and she also invited me to spend a couple of hours with her and S tomorrow. I don't know if I can continue this type of "as if nothing" contact.
Well you have to do what's right for you. Personally I'm engaging in a ton of that kind of stuff with W. Last night she stayed at my house with S9 while I took D15 shopping for her bday. Tonight she's coming over to hand out candy while I take S9 trick-or-treating. Tomorrow we're all going out to dinner for D15's bday. Friday we're all going to D15's drill performance together. Saturday we're having a party for D15, D18 is coming in from college. Does it bother me being around W that much? Not at all. Do I get sad when I look at her, pine for the good old days? Nope. I don't have to act "as if" everything is fine, because that's just the way I feel now. Everything IS fine. I don't care if W is there or not, I have fun regardless. And I don't have to act like I have a PMA, because I DO have a PMA. Sure you have to force it at first, but it does get easier and easier until you don't have to act anymore. This doesn't work for everyone, some people are just torn up being around their WAS. You just have to decide what works for you. I would say try to be around them more and see how it goes. You can always detach more later.
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I feel like somewhere down the road I have to tell her I still love her, I hoped for us to be a family, but that I need to focus on me and not that which is lost.
That's what detachment and GAL will tell her in actions. You don't need to say it, show it to her.
