Still together but trying to save this

[PeteWyo]

AS, thank you for the responses, your input is greatly appreciated. It is bittersweet to hear that you are in a very similar situation as mine. I sometimes think that we were just too different of people for it ever to have worked. I know that is not true but the thought has entered my mind. I beat myself up for a long time telling myself that I screwed up somehow. But I can't do that moving forward. I have already taken steps to change the things that I think I need to change but I am not going to compromise who I am. I have always been the same person for the most part. I mean we all grow and change but I believed that I finally found someone that loved me for me. I feel empowered to know that at least everyone else in my life didn't buy the pity party and had enough mettle to think for themselves and have an opinion without bias. I do need to be more understanding of my W's fear of confrontation. It is just sad that I didn't know about it until it was too late to do anything about it.

needgrace, thank you so much for the support! I did feel responsible for providing financial security. As much as I truly don't care about money, this is a material world and I was trying to build a stable life for us so that we wouldn't want to work until we were 80. She always told me that she wanted to be a homemaker and stay at home and maybe start a daycare. I was just trying to work my butt of to make that dream a reality for her. I guess I forgot to enjoy life and my marriage along the way which I may never forgive myself for. You stay strong as well!