Welcome to the boards - and sorry that you find yourself here. As is often said here "it's the best worst place to be".
You seem to be very focused on what your wife is or is not doing - very understandable, but also very much a road to nowhere. You really can't get her to do or realize anything. The philosophical basis of nearly everything on these boards is "you can only work on and control you".
Though it does seem as if your wife is making some tiny steps along the way, don't read too much into it. You might find that your WAW moves around her emotions with the predictabilty of loose fire hose. I certainly did.
What have you done for you? Have you read The Divorce Remedy yet? If not, get on that ASAP. Have you listened to and internalized any of the criticisms your wife has had of you? What are they? Do you accept any of them other than the "poor provider" role? Why or why not?
Use this as an opportunity to improve yourself - for you. That is the only way change will stick. And, at least in my case, change is what is key.
