Well..chose the lesser of two evils...didn't call, but beeped him and asked him in a light tone of voice to give me a call before he went to bed. We'll see.
He just called. We talked for a bit. I did a bit of a 180 after reading in Divorce Remedy for a while tonight. I mentioned us doing some work around the house and said how I thought we should continue with that, since it made us both happy. We are both very happy when working on our home and get a sense of pride from making our home look nice. I also asked him where he wanted his clothes, as I had put them in the spare room. I asked if he wanted me to leave them there or if he wanted them upstairs in our room. He said he planned on sleeping upstairs.
I said good, because I am horny. I asked if he was, he did not respond. I said, well you must be a little. Again no response, so I let it drop.
Now, the 180 is this... I am always the one saying things are going to work between us. So, tonight I said, working on the house is a good idea as if things don't work between us then it will just improve the value of the house for when we have to sell it. He did not comment. I hope it got him thinking that he is not the only one who can think about working on things...but also think about divorce. Now, I know this may seem a strange tactic...but I am always the one saying things will work, let's work it out...we can be happy, etc. I guess the 180 was to make him understand that I have some reservations, too, and that maybe he is not in as much control of things as he thinks. I am always the needy one who pursues as he withdraws..that is our pattern. So, tonight, I realized I need to once again break that pattern..I have done so in the past...I can do it again. Tomorrow, I am going to try and be busy ...too busy to call him tomorrow night. I have plans to go out with a friend at 9..so will spend time between 6-9 when I wait for him to call...getting all dolled up and then will get out of the house....let him wonder a bit. Have to be careful though...don't want him to think I am drinking...I am not, but that thought would send him reeling. I know my drinking hurt him and he couldn't take it if he thought I had started again...so need to be careful of making him too insecure...as to my whereabouts.
I got off the phone first saying good night and did not say I love you.
That was another 180 for me.
He is sick right now and I felt sorry for him. He also sounds very depressed. I hope he feels a bit better tomorrow.
I feel better today. Am hoping he is really going to make an effort to make our marriage work...but know that I can only control myself and my actions. Have to continue to let go and let God.
